Growing up as a little girl I never knew the actual love of a Father. And that’s not because my dad wasn’t around-he was; but just not involved in the way I would’ve liked him to be. The role of a father is one of protection, guidance and provision. A father is a girl’s first love –everything her father says and does will shape how she views herself and how she expects to be treated by other men for the rest of her life.
When that role is lacking as a child, there are long term effects both- mentally and emotionally, which are hard to resolve later in life because there is a significant void that cannot be filled by any other individual. The absence of a father in a daughters life is a huge problem, in today’s society especially, and is the reason some young, beautiful girls are chasing after the love and affection of a male figure in all the wrong places by doing all the wrong things.
Not to throw shade on my dad, but just to share from the heart-he definitely wasn’t the cookie cutter “dad type” we see on TV or read about in stories. My dad is old school-always wanted sons-but God gave him two girls instead (gotta love God). His dad was barely around while he grew up, so essentially he didn’t know how to father his own children as he didn’t have the best role model. My dad was tough; hard to please. Instead of encouraging his kids he would tear us down with words that would cut like a knife. It was almost impossible to do anything right in his sight. His motto was ‘my way or the highway”-in other words you don’t abide by the rules; than leave the house. His strict behaviour were the least of my issues- in fact he was very abusive (physically and verbally); he drank a lot which often brought on his aggressive behaviour but even after all that he felt no remorse. It was definitely no environment for a child, especially two young girls.
I call my mom, our saving grace before Jesus found us- she did the best she could to shelter us from all the madness that took place and take on the role of both parents on most days. But nonetheless I rebelled as a teen because I came to the conclusion that regardless what I did; I will never win my dad’s love or approval. And sadly I see so much of my history repeating itself in a lot of the younger girls today and my prayer and hope for them today is that they would experience the love of the best Father ever- Our heavenly Father- who never fails, disappoints or rejects His girls. Know that what you have experience or are going through- it’s not the end of your story. God has a plan even in the chaos-TRUST HIM.
I remember when I first experienced God the Father’s love- it took months of healing because it was caused by years of pain, torment, anger and resentment which I hid inside my heart towards my earthly father. Once I discovered God’s unconditional and immeasurable love for me I no longer walked around with the desire to want to be accepted by my dad-or anyone else for that matter; because God’s love gave me so much purpose and definition that I never questioned if anyone cared. Most importantly I was able to forgive my dad for all his mistakes and not hold him as my prisoner as though he owed me anything.
We all fall short because we are humans-and my dad is no different. I know that one day God’s grace will extend as far enough to him as it did to me. Until then I do my part to be present in his life- to shine Christ’s light to him because he is still in a place of darkness, but I believe that his darkness will not overcome him. Like Chris Tomlin’s song God the Father is definitely; in fact He’s more than a good father- He’s the greatest Father there ever was, is or will be. He sets the bar high and never misses. So if your earthly daddy- daughter relationship is in ruins; or you were orphaned without ever knowing your dad- I want to encourage you by letting you know that God is first your Father –He was there even before your earthly father was.
God is the Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5) and He strong enough to protect and help you (Psalm 10: 14 and Job 29:12) and He defends you when you are weak (Psalm 82:3). When you are in need He will provide for you (Matt 6:26); He’s merciful towards you, always giving you multiple chances and never disappointed if you make mistakes (Luke 6:35-36) and most importantly He loves you with an everlasting love.
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! –1 John 3:1.
To all the dads and especially to the best dad ever (JESUS).
Happy DADDY’s day, thank you and we celebrate you.