Let’s take a trip back into time and recall the time you first met your spouse or your fiance. Remember that stage; it was what everyone referred to as ‘the puppy love stage’. No one else existed on this planet but you and him.
Remember when those long hours of conversations over the phone, about anything and everything would turn into both of you falling asleep with the phone to your ears? You couldn’t wait to see each other again and while you were still with each other, you were both eagerly discussing when to meet up next. You’d do dinners, watch movies, go for walks and do absolutely anything to be in each others presence all the time.
Now, fast forward – you get married! You both get stuck at work because of your crazy work schedules consuming you, just so you can save to get the house you dreamed of. A few more years go by, you have one, maybe two, or even three kids. Life gets super busy and unfortunately, you and the man you fell in love with barely have time to sit and have a 5 minute heartfelt conversation because life has taken its course. And before you know it you begin to drift apart.
Now I’m not saying that’s what eventually happens to every couple, but it is a sad reality for many relationships and even friendships for that matter. So in essence, you love the person, you live in the same house or within close vicinity of each other –yet so far away, emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually, that you barely even know the person any more.
When time is not spent nurturing and strengthening the relationships with the people close to us, it begins to crumble. Real relationships with people take work – LOTS OF WORK! It requires time and most importantly effort. It is no one else’s responsibility to get things together other than our own.
Imagine purchasing a brand new vehicle and expecting it to take care of itself, without actually having it maintained and take it in for service from time to time. It would not function properly and would start breaking down sooner than you know. Likewise, every relationship and friendship requires work and sometimes you will have to be the bigger person and go above and beyond for people that matter to you – otherwise, the relationship will surely deteriorate.
Maintaining relationships are not easy but at the end of the day, if you love them, it would be in your best interest to quit complaining, pointing the blame and do what needs to be done; regardless of how many times you did your part. You may be saying, “But, I always make the effort, they never do!” My answer to you is- so what? Did Jesus stop pursuing you, even though it was Him who sought you every time? Was His love not relentless that He went through Hell (literally), shed blood and died an unimaginable death to display His love and affection for you? If Christ’s love has no bounds, no limits and no excuses, then why does ours? He calls us to be like Him, that includes the way we love others.
You cannot say you love someone and not want to reconcile your differences. You cannot do life with others if you are not willing to agree and walk in unity with them either. Amos 3:3 says it perfectly, “Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to do so?” And the obvious answer to that is of course not. My husband would not have married me unless I agreed when he asked. Come to a place of agreement with the people you claim to love. The word of God says, let us not love in word and speech but in action and truth (1 John 3:18). If God had not displayed His love to me through Jesus, I would not have known how much, and to what extent He really loved and still loves me.
Instead of ignoring and keeping our loved ones and the relationships displaced, make a conscious effort to restore the things that matter in your life. And since we are not promised tomorrow, today would be a good day to start!