Christian Dating 1o1

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Every girl dreams about her wedding day and meeting the man of her dreams. As women, I think this is one of the most important decisions we have to make. Choosing the right person to spend our life with. This is not just about signing a marriage certificate and living with a guy. It’s about making a covenant between you, God and your future husband. 

Often times, we worry that we won’t find “the one” and we either give up on this idea of marriage and wedding bells…Or we pursue multiple relationships with men and hope to eventually marry.

But today I want to discuss Christian dating/courting.

Is Christian dating even a thing?

Let’s backtrack.

Are you with someone with your parents’ knowledge and approval?

Or are you hiding this relationship?

The word of God is clear: we are to obey our parents in Christ.

“Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.”

Ephesians 6:1 (NLT)

No ifs and/or buts.

If God approves of the relationship, but you have super strict parents, do not worry! You must pray continually and be strong in the Lord. He will soften your parent(s)’ hearts.

If your parents approve and accept your relationship…

Here’s my next question…and it’s a big one!

Does God approve? Have you received direct confirmation that this man you’re with is in fact the will of God? If this man is God’s will, is it God’s appointed time?

I’ve known my husband since I was 14. I liked him since the moment I met him. But I was too young. I was not ready for this relationship.

I was still working on my own identity and learning to grow spiritually.

How could I possibly be ready to date the man that God had for my future PREMATURELY?

Remember, your character is still  developing and God wants to mold you in this beautiful image of a woman that surpasses them all (see Proverbs 31).

If you’ve been in a long term relationship, I’m sure you can admit it is difficult to resist physical temptation. When you’re dating you put yourself in situations where you’re alone with your significant other. You desire to affirm your love for him in different ways and it becomes a challenge to maintain your purity. It doesn’t matter if you’re marrying the man.  When you’re not married, God expects us to keep ourselves pure and holy (Romans 12:1).Purity honours God and it prepares us to be a God-fearing wife. Purity is not just limited to abstinence.  Our words, our actions and our thoughts are examined by the Lord.

If you come with a past, I want to encourage you today to rededicate yourself  to God. He is quick to forgive and cleanse you of your past sins (1 John 1:9).

God makes everything beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

The sacrifice and obedience you’re willing to give will not go unnoticed.

God will bless your marriage and give you a wonderful man of God.

My advice to you dear sisters, is to resist evil and flee from temptation. If God has someone for you, you don’t have to cling on to him so he shows up on your wedding day. God’s perfect plan WILL always come to pass beautifully when you are willing to be obedient. The more you sacrifice for the sake of God and holiness, the more the Lord will bless you. Will you give up momentary pleasures for an eternal reward and blessings?The moment you look more at God than the man you hope to marry, the more beautifully things will fall into place.

When you are prayerfully waiting and begin to see clarity from God in the  relationship, your courtship begins.

Have you heard of the term courtship? You can only be courting your partner when you are spiritually mature because it is important to avoid having multiple relationships. God has one man for you and He will bring him into your life at the right time. In some cases, you may have known him for a long time, but God has a specific time when you can start preparing for marriage. Remember just because you’re with the “right guy” it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the “right time.”

2.pngSo if you’re in a relationship…let’s talk about boundaries in your relationship for a minute. The boundaries in a Christian relationship are simple. If you’re not married, keep yourselves pure. The more you’re willing to wait, the more God will bless you, your spouse, and your marriage. We are humans and when we are in love, our emotions run wild! So stay close to God and avoid situations that tempt you to get intimate with your future spouse. A good question to ask yourself whenever you are wondering what the boundaries should be in your relationship with your boyfriend is this: Would I be doing this in front of my dad or if my dad is watching us? If the answer is no, then you know where you should draw the line. Ultimately, your heavenly Father is seeing everything you do with your boyfriend, so if you would not do something in front of your earthly father, how much more respect should you have for your heavenly father!

Wait on His timing and do not allow your insecurities and lack of faith, be the reason you break your commitment to God.

Before you make any promise or “vow” to a man, give yourself completely and wholly to God.

He is to always be honoured as our First Love.

If you are struggling with a relationship today, I encourage you to look to Christ. He will give you peace on how to handle the situation and strength to overcome the temptations.

In fact, His perfect peace is a confirmation that God is pleased with the relationship.

If you come with a past, release it to the Lord. His love covers all sin and nothing is impossible for him to restore. Put your heart in his hands. He knows exactly who to give you and when it is time for it to happen. Do not grow weary in the wait. Single-hood is only a small  part of your life and it’s the only time you can truly give your 100% to God. It’s undivided attention that God truly deserves. Single-hood is also a beautiful time in every woman’s life that she should enjoy and make the most of with God.

God loves you and never withholds good things from his children. Trust in Him.

When you delight in the Lord first, He will grant you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).

Be of good cheer. 🙂

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3 thoughts on “Christian Dating 1o1

  1. Hi there!!

    Thanks for reaching out to us! We all agree that this relationship that you are in is very confusing. God is not a God of confusion, but rather He is the prince of peace. We highly suggest that you surrender this relationship completely to the Lord and let ur guy seek the Lord on his own, without your help. An unequally yoked relationship is definitely not of the Lord..as it States in the bible. Therefore, even if you have received confirmations, if it is contradicting the very words from the bible, then its best if you let go of this relationship. (Also, take a look at our entry called Unequally yoked on the blog). Seek God for healing and guidance and continue to pursue Him with your whole heart..He will send you the right man who will love the Lord and love you in the exact way He intended. In the meantime keep praying for his salvation and release him to our loving Father. God will make everything beautiful in His timing, and He will join you with a man who is after His heart! Jesus has to be at the centre! Hope this helps. Feel free to email us at iron.sharpenhers@gmail.com

    Take care!
    -the Iron SharpenHers team

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much for responding. I would like to reiterate that we are not in a relationship, he is saved but God is not Lord over Mr. C’s every move. I have completely cut all ties as of 2 weeks ago so that God can do His work.
      I read your unequally yoked post prior to my OP. Again bc I have already severed all ties, do only as God instructs prayer & do not have a relationship with Mr. C I was still interested in some input.
      I will continue to walk this out as I have & as I believed I was instructed as it does line up with all of the recommendations in your reply & posts. Thank you again.

      Like

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